Truth be told navigating social media as a brown skin girl has its ups and downs. I’ve felt it and I’m sure many of you have felt it in one moment or another. Y’all know that I have a love hate relationship particularly with Instagram.
One of the reasons rebranded this blog into Fro Plus Fashion is because I don’t see enough women that look like me (fat, dark skin, natural hair, non-European features) being consistently uplifted and supported. The social media scene is not the only place that we don’t get the love we deserve. We often find ourselves in spaces where we are no surprise the minority.
Real talk, sometimes my own brown skin girl confidence waivers. Is it because I’m black and plus size? Is it my hair? Am I ugly? Lol I’m smiling to myself as I right this because I know better than to question myself in this way, but it does happen from time to time. We all feel it and have been through it…even Beyoncé. Beyoncé’s “Brown Skin Girl” from the Lion King (2019) Soundtrack practically loves up on all the brown skin women and reassures is that we are everything!
Questioning your worth, purpose and the like is something that we all do at one point or another. Knowing that others feel the same is comforting, but it doesn’t make it less depressing or overwhelming. To combat negative self thought and maintain my brown skin girl confidence, I try a lot of the following practices on a regular basis.
How I Maintain Confidence as a Brown Skin Girl
Unplug
Listen life exists outside of social media and stepping away from it to work through your situation is a very popular choice for most. Use that time to get rest, sort out what caused your burnout, and think about ways to prevent it from happening again (whatever your particular situation is).
Engagement and Growth Does Not Equal Worth
This one is always a struggle, but it’s so necessary. Don’t take the lack of diversity to mean that you aren’t beautiful or important.
Positive Affirmations
Speak positivity into your life and about yourself regularly. When you catch yourself thinking or speaking negatively about your self stop and replace it with something negative. I like to write uplifting words that describe myself and my capabilities with lipstick on my bathroom mirror.
Get Naked
If your confidence challenges are associated with body confidence, increasing your exposure to that thing will help. This may be TMI, but I stand in the mirror and do my skincare and routine butt naked. Usually I have some music going and I intermittently sing/ rap and dance with myself. I instantly get a boost of endorphins from all the movement and I head out for the day feeling hyped with a more positive attitude.
Create Opportunities for Yourself
Create spaces for the topics you want to discuss, create the content you wish you could see in magazines, and collab with other creatives that align with your goals, objectives, and endeavors.
Stop Comparing Sis
Very very hard to do , when the perfect moments, achievements, and possessions are highlighted everyday on social media, but it’s doable. There’s no nice way to say this, but mind your business sis. Spend more time sorting out what you need to do to work towards where you want to be than fussing about the opportunity so and so landed. I really believe if we all work towards the things that we want we will find our way there, but in different seasons. You’re never going to see the times someone spent crying out of frustration, or the times they didn’t have the things you’re wishing you had now. Your lane and your journey is where your focus should be. Does this mean don’t ever look at what other people are doing? No. Gaining motivation, inspiration, and knowledge from people that do similar things to you is super important. However, when the mind shifts to a not so positive frame, unplug and reset.
Listen! Like many things in this crazy life, we can’t just read and follow some instructions to get the results we want and live confidently ever after. Some days are great and some days are complete trash. Cry it out. Have your moment, but don’t forget to get back in there.
